Goodbye My Dearest Friend

 

Chance,

 

I remember when you were born and I pulled the birth sack from your tiny little nose, the carefree afternoons in the sun in the backyard. I remember training with you, I remember when you were 6 months old and I was pregnant with Brianna and my hips kept going out and how you made it your business to be right beside me everywhere I went to make sure I didn't take a bad fall. I remember walks at the waterfront where you would chase jackrabbits....you were so young and strong then...so full of life.

I remember the countless times you protected us all from harm, putting yourself in harms way to save us. I remember all the nights I slept soundly knowing that you were there and wouldn't allow any harm to come to us. I remember too the times in the night you remained by my side to guard against the demons you couldn't see but knew were in my mind, the times I wanted to die and with a nudge of my hand and a pleading look you would remind me why I needed to live and how you were there to grab onto for dear life as I fought the battle to keep living. You always knew when I needed you and what to do to bring me back from the edge. I didn't train you to be a service dog....you trained yourself and turned around and trained me.

When I was alone and grief stricken and scared, you were there. When I cried it was you who comforted me and dried my tears. When everyone I depended on flaked on me, you were there. When I was weak you were my strength, when I was scared, you were my champion. You were the warm body beside me to comfort me to sleep. You gave me the courage to live again and live boldly. You were the mothers helper I desperately needed.

All this life all you ever asked for was to be by my side to watch over me and the kids and keep us from harm. You didn't demand a roof over your head, or even food...refusing both when seperated from me, prefering to be with me in the hell that was my life. Never was there a truer friend or so fierce and dedicated a guardian. I would give all I am and all I have to give you back your life, but time is a demon that neither of us can fight and win. Part of me wants to go with you, how will I ever make it without you by my side, but I know you wouldn't hear of it, you're not the selfish kind. I will try to go on without you... but it will never be the same.

Looking down at you knowing that cancer is eating you alive, know its eating me alive too- cutting like a host of knives through my soul, but I cherish every second I have with you, we're both on borrowed time now. I love you so much Chance.

Goodbye my dearest friend,

words cannot describe how much I will miss you or how lost I will be when you go........

If you wish to do something to honor Chance's memory and life of selfless service,